Did the Barman Say It to You Again
Classic bar jokes
A human walks into a bar…or was it two men? Maybe it was a woman. Still you want to tell information technology, there's zippo like a bar joke to instantly liven upwards the room. Nosotros've rounded up the best of the best funny jokes to go on the banter and laughter flowing. You'll definitely want to add these to your repertoire, along with these clever jokes, short jokes, dad jokes, and bad jokes. You'll be the grouping comedian in no time.
The past, present, and futurity walk into a bar.
Information technology was tense.
Don't worry, we have more than grammar jokes that all the word nerds will appreciate.
The NSA Walks into a bar.
"Hey, I've got a great new joke for you!" the barman says.
The NSA smiles. "Heard it."
Comic Sans, Helvetica, and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
"Get out!" shouts the barman. "We don't serve your blazon here!"
An amnesiac walks into a bar.
He goes upwardly to a beautiful blonde and says, "So, do I come here often?"
If you loved this, you lot'll certainly express joy at these dark jokes.
A neutron walks into a bar.
"How much for a beer?" the neutron asks.
"For yous?" says the bartender. "No accuse."
Jimmy Wales* walks into a bar.
[citation needed]
*co-founder of Wikipedia
2 dragons walk into a bar.
The kickoff one says, "It sure is hot in here."
His friend snaps back, "Close your oral fissure!"
A screwdriver rolls into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, we take a potable named after yous!"
The screwdriver squeals, "Yous have a drink named Philip??"
If this wasn't cheesy enough for you lot, we take plenty of corny jokes up our sleeve.
The barman says, "Nosotros don't serve time travelers in hither."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A Frenchman walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder.
The cat is wearing a little baseball game cap. "Hey, that's neat," says the bartender. "Where did y'all become that?"
"France," the kitty says. "They've got millions of them!"
Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first says, "I'll have a beer."
The second says, "I'll have half a beer."
The third says, "I'll have a quarter of a beer."
Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills upward exactly 2 spectacles of beer and serves them. "Come on, now," he says to the group, "You guys have got to learn your limits."
If you're non a big beer fan, maybe try sharing some of these wine puns.
A panda walks into a bar.
He gobbles some beer basics, so pulls out a pistol, fires information technology in the air, and heads for the door.
"Hey!" shouts the bartender, simply the panda yells back, "I'g a panda. Google me!"
Sure enough, panda: "A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
This cowboy walks into a bar.
His lid is made of brown wrapping paper, his shirt and vest are made of waxed paper, and his chaps, pants, and boots are made of tissue newspaper. Pretty soon they arrest him for rustling.
In improver to these bar jokes, these drinking quotes will make y'all spit your beverage out.
A man runs into a bar.
Panting, he tells the barkeep, "Give me x shots of your best whiskey—quick!" Then the barkeep sets them up and the man knocks them all dorsum in seconds.
"Why y'all drinking and then fast?" asks the barkeep.
"You lot'd drink fast also if you had what I accept," says the homo.
"Why, what practice y'all take?" asks the barkeep.
"Only twelve cents."
A panda, a cowboy, a human with a true cat on his shoulder, and a time traveler walk into a bar.
"What is this," the bartender yells, "some kind of joke??"
A five-dollar bill walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey. This is a singles bar.
Two guys walk into a bar.
The third one ducks.
How could we share bar jokes without including an anti-joke in the mix?
A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I become y'all?"
"Popular," goes the weasel.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, sir. Nosotros don't serve food here."
A lawn tennis ball walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Have y'all been served?"
A guy walks into a bar with a slice of asphalt under his arm.
He asks for ane beer, and one for the road.
You may also want to endeavor out some of these wine quotes that will uncork all the laughs.
Two jumper cables walk into a bar.
Ane of them says, "We'd similar a couple of beers, please."
The bartender says, "OK, only don't start anything."
ƒ(x) walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sad, we don't cater for functions."
A guy walks into a bar and asks for fruit punch.
The bartender says "Sure. Just get in line."
The guy looks over and gets confused 'cause there's no punchline.
A human being walks into a bar owned by horses.
The bartender says, "Why the short face up?"
A corn stalk walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Desire to hear a joke?"
The corn stalk replies, "I'm all ears!"
Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
He doesn't react.
Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
You tin can't tell me that was just a coincidence, man.
A new lawyer walks into a diner.
"Where's the bar?" she asks.
A waiter responds, "You passed information technology on the style here."
A beaver walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Close the dam door!"
For more joke ideas, check out our main drove of bar jokes that will turn you into the life of the political party.
Originally Published: February 28, 2022
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Source: https://www.rd.com/list/funny-bar-jokes/
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